You’ve been dating someone special for several weeks. Or months. Or even years. How long you’ve been together isn’t as important as the fact that you thought you were happy. No wonder this breakup came as a surprise. And to make matters worse, his reasons for breaking up seem so out of left field and don't make any sense.
How do you cope when someone you care about ends your relationship and you’re not entirely sure why? Here are five things that might help:
1. Obsess. Let’s face it: You’re going to do this no matter what, and that’s okay (to a certain point!). It’s natural to wrestle with events we don’t understand, and if your partner’s reasons for breaking up seem lame to you, you’re undoubtedly struggling to wrap your head around it all. Give yourself permission to run through the history of the relationship, to try and figure out where things went south. Talking with a trusted friend might even help shed some light. Desperately wanting to figure things out is inevitable. It’s also part of grieving, which you’re starting to do. But even though it’s normal to find yourself obsessing over the what, how, and why of it all, this is not a place you want to get stuck. In other words, it may be an important stop on your journey back to joy, but don’t unpack your bags and sign a long-term lease.
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